Didn't someone tell me

That Charles de Gaulle airport was awful?

No problem coming in, dressed in my best impression of someone who wears a suit. I was ready to apologize for being late and Skype into a training session, but for fun, I decide to swipe my passport to see if I could check in to my second flight, as I was unable to check in in Istanbul and at Ataturk. 

The answer was no. My flight, I was informed shortly after, was cancelled for what seem to be "technical difficulties," he said confused, skimming the screen. 

Okay, no problem. I laugh it off the whole time. The guy trying to get to Cairo that missed his plane is angry, resentful and uncooperative. I am not that guy. I am a breeze. 

While I'm waiting, my Airfrance friend and I are chatting, and we're the same age. We both thought the other person was older, me because she had a job, and her because I have a beard. She says she likes airport movies but she hasn't seen The Terminal. She says she likes airplane movies, but she hasn't seen Up in the Air. "In France sometimes movies have different names..." Yeah, maybe. Has she only seen Airplane or Airport '77? I don't know, I would have asked, but the guy to Cairo was making a fascinating scene and we were both distracted.

Maybe I can visit the FL tower while in Paris? What?

Oh, Eiffel! Sorry! I don't speak French and I feel very guilty about that. 

(The French legion soldiers march past me, hands on their rifles as I type this, no lie. Walking like they talk it, cold expressions to say that they don't know this is an airport, and why are you in France) 

Maybe I could visit the Eiffel Tower? It's closed now (11 pm) but you can look at it. Your American visa lets you leave the airport, so you might as well. Okay, I guess. You'll pick up your luggage and to take the bus because the train is unsafe at this hour (11 pm) so it'll run you 20€ but when in Paris

right?

I go to collect my luggage and wander around Paris, but wait, there is no luggage. My luggage had not arrived in Paris according to their computer. It's routine, I'm told. Nothing I did. Okay. I can check back in Nice (my new connecting airport) and

(Wait, that was too fast, did the announcement tell me I have to leave now?) 

Maybe they'll have more information then. Okay, no problem. I'm handed a toiletry kit and I'm not angry, more confused. My other new friend at baggage services did not reciprocate my jocular humor so being stranded becoming slightly more real. Still not annoyed, I'm not that guy.

I'm not in the financial position to tour around in a taxi (that should run you 100€) and also not to get a hotel for the night, so I'm going to rough it in Charles de Gaulle. I'm fine though, I have everything I need: a couple books, some hangers, envelopes, a toiletry bag and all the free Internet I can use for 30 minutes.  15 minutes. 5 minutes.

At least I'm in the right gate, I think.

UPDATE: Flight was delayed in Nice, which was fine, but I didn't have any clothes so I would have sweat through the nice shirt I was wearing and made everyone on the flight to JFK uncomfortable. Instead, I read Man in the Dark by Paul Auster and it was incredible. When I got to New York, I found a voicemail from Nice saying my luggage was in Istanbul and I should contact this number in 28 hours or less. They will send me my luggage, so no problem. Or as they say in Turkey, "Puroblem yok."

It was an adventure, and I read like two books. After a last minute cancellation, a delay that I find when I get to my connecting flight and lost luggage, I'm probably not riding Airfrance for a while, unless they have really good deals, then what does it matter?