Of(f) myself

Suicide is such a touchy subject.
"I want into heaven," one could say. Sure that's fine. You live your whole life with that goal in mind and, before you sin (in Spanish, sin means 'without') again, you could die and go straight to heaven.
Uh, oh. You have to wait for death the come over you!
Too bad, because I'm pretty sure angel wings would be a cute accessory with your new haircut.

"I don't want to live!" many have said. Well, quit then, you drab drag.
My coattails only have so much room.

I think the Suicide Hotline is a wonderful idea. When they off themselves, does someone fired?
What's the failure policy of the last line of defense against a lifeless corpse?

Maybe Christ was a idealistic scientist, ahead of his time, like Newton.
Or maybe he was an alchemist.
How many of his superpowers were not listed in the Bible?