I had a conversation with one of my friends about monogamy a month ago. It's easy to forget that there are other sorts or relationships than the one I'm in. Hell, it's a challenge to be aware of anything that I'm not. Friendship is like the perpetual defeat of my accidental solipsism.
Nonmonogamy is interesting. I think I dig it. I think it's something to be dug, but I've never dabbled. I've never seen anyone that had an interest in other people, as well as me. They wouldn't! I couldn't possibly be with someone that had eyes for another, just couldn't do it, it's wrong and painful ugly, but most people are attracted to everyone around them, right?
What kept me out of long-term relationships for the last four, five years, other than fear, is the feeling that I'd be missing out on all these great trysts that are always satisfactory.
I've heard that these relationships fail in previously heterosexual, monogamous relationships. I think Dr. Drew told me that. I hear that, sure, but there are many people that survive (and succeed) in alternative relationship forms. April Ludgate, of course is an example. My friend in my boat-building class was reading a book about how to better her polyamory. I asked her about it and she told me that the water's fine.
And I have a family friend that's been in a ménage à trois for some five years, longer even, but she doesn't like the company of her husband, the third wheel is a deadbeat skeez, and she's fallen off the deep end in other aspects of her life since then.
It works for some people and other people pretend it works for them. Sounds like every other part of relationships.
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