Quiet Majesty

I forget how jittery I get when I drink coffee. I don't drink coffee. It's excess. I don't need to have so much uncomfortable focus. I could stare at a tree for hours and feel like I've done myself a favor.
Well now I understand nature, I'd think.

I'm back from vacation and what do I do? Wake up at noon, even if I set alarms, I'll disable them. I know myself. I have no self control if I don't have a reason to have self control.
With my time, my limitless hours, I have done naught. I know that. I am nothing. I'm not working. I'm not reading. I'm not painting murals of Chicano history on Brooklyn walls.
I'm doing nothing and I am nothing.

I mean, there's that, but there's also this whole living in the moment thing that I'm doing. There are friendly faces and mistakes and meteor showers and the internet and gifts and gab.
Repercussions, sure, but eventually! Right now this is what I'm doing and it's fine and it will build me.
I'm back to running. I'm back to writing. Some, but some is some not none.
I'm back to forgetting what words mean and kicking myself.
Knowing that I'll do fine, but worrying about all of the possibilities.
Being too egotistical to be nervous around attractive women.

Everything.
Is this a recharge?
I guess.

I just need to make sure that I've grown.

Taylor and I were talking (He's not real, by the way; He's just a name) about what's wrong with what I think.
The issue is that I think heavily, but speak lightly. Simplified dialectic. One sentence is backed by a thousand sentences that I haven't spoken.
And also, "You're not as open-minded as you think."

"I'm Opinionated."

I'm liberal and not religious and that means I'm open-minded.
But not really. I'm notoriously, loudly set.

And I know that.

The point is, if you have a problem with anything ever,
I'm Sure that I can tell you which way is right.