I was bullied

There is a fever on the internet about four things, Japan, Libya, Rebecca Black's "Friday" and Casey Heynes. The above video showcases the story of Casey who, after being bullied for apparently years, lost it. He grabbed the bully and threw him to the ground. There have been varied responses to this violent response. The school suspended both students, youtube keeps banning the video for violence and some respondents argue that it should have never gotten to that point, but mostly the response has been outright support.

I am in the latter group.

Some of my friends have noticed that "faggot" rolls off my tongue with relative ease which seems to go against my generally politically correct nature. They don't know that "faggot" was my name for several years to the bullies in my neighborhood.

I stopped walking home at some point in elementary school because there was an older boy that rode around on his bike and told me "go fuck myself" and "die faggot" with regularity. I successfully stopped walking on my street and avoided him completely, but when I started riding the school bus home, I was met with more bullies. One was younger and one was older than me. The called me gay and pulled my hair hard enough to go home with some in their hands. I had anger issues and I'd turn red in the face when I was provoked or embarrassed. I was red in the face every ride home.

One day, when I was in fourth grade and it was early Spring, the older bus bully tripped me on my way to the back of the bus, where I wouldn't be abused. I briefly fell and dropped my books. I don't know what I said, but it got him standing and I punched him in the face. I used to tell people that I broke his nose (I made myself believe it) but I really just gave him a bloody nose and a complex.

I was ordered off the bus and sat smugly in the Principal's office. I had brought up the issue before and it still happened. It always still happens, doesn't it? I'm sure some policies work, but they didn't work for me. I'm not pro-violence, in general, but I would have killed Hitler and I would still have punched that guy in the face.

I'm not pleased that I broke, and I'm not smug anymore, but context and time has helped me forgive everything.

I was in counseling before and a couple times after this happened for many reasons, but one counselor I had, Terry, a wise older man, told me once that "kids are stupid." He's right and it stuck. It isn't just kids who are stupid, though. It's a lot of people. Kids, especially, but definitely not only. People can be insensitive and worthless. It's a fact. I can say that because I watch from my ivory tower and I have never been either of those things to anyone, I'm sure!

We're all infallible and we have to make sure that we aren't bullying anyone every step in the road because some Casey will righteously throw us to the ground.

I support Casey Heynes for being an incredible survivor and giving only one comeuppance when necessary.