Sunday, November 1, 2009

"I want to ingenuous all over her face"

Scott says things like that. He didn't know what it meant.
He also said, regarding my facial hair, "If God gave you the power to grow a handlebar mustache, who are you to spit in his face?"

I feel like a kid today. I listened to my recorded self and it's awful. I'm so young-sounding, and the words, my choice of words even sounded like Buster trying on Daddy's pants and slippers.
Aw, how cute. Look at Buster try and run.

At what point am I supposed to take myself seriously? At what point do I expect others to?
It's a process, though, it isn't simple. You're right, Orit. You're right.
History isn't simple.

And you know what? Orit is right about something else. To what I am testifying? What memory do I have that's of any use?
I wish I had some perspective that was different, but gee Golly, I can't prove that I do, and if I did, it would be proof of one in six billion other proofs.
Well aren't we all different and special in our own way?

I thought about writing names before I used names in this entry. Because who are you, reader, to know about whom I'm referring? I could just be writing, Alionka (Ah-lee-áhn-ka), right? I could just be writing. Right Hannah? Right Brenda Smalley and Jennifer Crooks?
I could, and you never can tell.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Orit is right about so much.
But, what's in a name? There's something beautiful about ambiguity. Just my feeling.
On a liner note, all analysis from you is fair analysis. Just my opinion.

Joel Arken said...

Really? Is it fair analysis because I constantly argue both sides?

Joï said...

I actually have no idea at what age we're supposed to take ourselves seriously. Every year on my birthday I say, "this is the year I become an adult". Still not there yet.

My advice to you is to embrace you're inner Buster (and to stay away from handle bar moustaches).