Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Oh, it is addiction (No, Thank you, Henry Weinhard)

Part of the reason I am so quick to leave my home a breath away from Suburban Portland lies in the bottom of a friendly green bottle.

You might have seen the popular boar's head. Mmm, Pale Ale.

Sweet, bitter lager.

i'm not sure what year my mother started drinking heavily, but she started the process in high school, in the early '70s. Beautiful. It's coming on 40 years of wonderful alcoholism.



Life is Beautiful.



She's crying right now. My door is open and I can hear her slamming cabinets (an action of which she berates my father when he is in an angry, drunken stupor) and crying. The soft, poignant sniffle pleading for respect and understanding.



"So, Joel, are you going to have any food before I put it away?"

"No." At this point, it has been over three times in ten minutes that my mother has asked some derivation of the same question. "Mom, I already ate." I shake my head, so tired of repeated questions and dull, empty laughter. "I've already said this, Mom. You just don't listen."

I understand that was rather harshly-worded.
Despite that,
living in a pool of ale makes it kind of hard to pay attention.

I don't want to hurt my mom, Obviously.
But at what point to I stop coddling my parents?
After which yelling session do I stop my dad and say, "Gee, Dad, I know you love yelling at me for no reason and throwing my belongings, but hey, maybe you have a problem with alcohol and that is the reason for this craziness."?
I don't know.
But I feel harsh.
I feel like an overbearing asshole that can't control his annoyance (understatement of the year).

My parents say they are functioning alcoholics.
I think this phrase is utter bullshit.
Alcoholism is a physiological dependence on alcohol. It doesn't matter that you've been doing it for so many years that you don't even slur your words. You are still drunk.
And you are still fucking addicted.

I feel crass, now.
My apologies.

I'm lost in ways to approach my parents.
Can I even help to solve this problem?
And if I can,
is it one of those situations like speeders on residential streets where I have to wait for a speeder (or in this case, my drunken parents) to kill someone?
Do I have to wait for someone to get hurt?

Because I don't want to wait that long.

1 comment:

Christopher said...

Good blog. It's all about blogging these days.