After the orignal blog of cynicism and pity, I had a brilliant plan: I was going to write two equally kick-ass blogs about my experiences in Vegas. I didn't do this.
The problem grew to be that everything in Vegas was frightening or saddening.
The beauty of the last days: You know those bittersweet moments where you can feel the last moments you'll spend with someone. I spent an evening with my grandma, she's pushing 95 and holds a permanent pseudo-scowl, despite her positive outlook.
*(This seems like a masochistic, vaguely familiar thing to post, but it's not. In the least bit. )
I began to cry in a showy Mexican restaurant, my head shifted right, and I was in a stupor of melancholy. In seconds, I was smiling. This is bittersweet, isn't it?
I just smiled, I knew that she had months, if not years ahead of her long and tired life. She wasn't gone, and if she was soon, then so be it. She rocked pretty hard for 90+ years.
That was part one, and the idea was novel, but the application was far beyond my control, in other words, I grew lazier and lazier.
Then my Dad went in the cancer ring for the second time. This time's competitor: Lung cancer.
And a sidenote of a blog, a wink, a tear, whatever, something miniscule, was swept under a giant rug.
I worked to keep everyone with a positive view, as best as I could, for my complete consciousness was out the door already.
He had some surgery, Adventist removed some lung, and now he's at home fighting an amazing battle with pessimism. I'm not sure who wins.
"But he's okay, right?"
Yeah, he's okay. We are all okay.
I realize this tone is far past my understanding of human emotion and human psychology, but I do know that the one thing that keeps everyone alive is a will to live. My grandma has so much hate in her heart, she's going until they stop her. My dad still wants to make a change in the lives of retirees. I want to put semi-useful information in a blog.
And here's the second moral: Chip up, chipper, because at least you don't have cancer. :)
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